On Accepting Change

Have you ever looked back at old pictures or old diary entries from years ago, months ago, or maybe even last week and thought “What was I thinking?” It’s so crazy how fast we change and don’t even realize its happening. The only time we can realize we’ve changed is when we’re able to look back at our old selves and compare. Just like the little hash marks my father used to make on the doorframe to show how much I’d grown, I never felt any taller, but the marks kept getting higher. And it is this constant yet elusive quality of change that makes life the challenge that it is. If things were always the same, sooner or later you’d master it, like that predictable first level on all video games. You add change into the picture and mastery seems to become an unattainable goal, because you don’t know what’s coming, you’re still trying to recover from what just came and you’re anxiety about the whole things in through the roof. Yep, that sounds like a pretty accurate description of life to me.
So what do you do about it? Well, there are a couple options: You could have a carefree, live-by-the-seat-of-your-pants lifestyle, just living off this great land, marveling at everything and expecting nothing. You could convince yourself that you are in control by meticulously planning out every detail in your life (and then have a nervous breakdown when life calmly places a big monkey wrench in your plans) or you could simply make your intentions, do what you can, and let Allah do the rest.

That last option, though I think it is best, is so much easier said than done. As much as I tell myself that I find comfort in knowing the Most High is in control, I still get attitudes and have little tantrums when things don’t go my way ( but His). One of the hardest things is trying to out think He who created thinking, He who created you from sounding clay and most definitely knows you better than you know yourself, He who makes it possible for even the smallest thought to enter your head. There’s no beating Him, no matter how hard we (I) try.

As self absorbed, and so-called independent as we are, accepting our relative insignificance and realizing our lack of control is next to impossible for many. It’s even blasphemous to some. (We’ll just define blasphemy as saying or doing something considered disrespectful to the American Way.) Many of us interpret “the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness” as ” being our own miniature gods.” We should interpret it as “giving God control so we can achieve life, liberty and happiness.” Who knows better for me (and all of us) than the All Knowing? So who am I to to try to take the reigns and change the divine path?

Nadirah Angail
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