Only in America...

These are just a few things I ran across that made me laugh a bit... Hope ya'll enjoy...

1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.

2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.

3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

4. Only in America......do people order double cheese burgers, large fries, and a diet coke.

5. Only in America......do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.

6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage.

7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.

8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.

9. Only in America.....do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.

10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

11. Only in America......can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box and a draft dodger live in the White House. (This was popular when Clinton was in office)

Tags: humor, jokes, oxymorons

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Replies to This Discussion

Permalink Reply by Sister Hanifa on May 9, 2009 at 11:26pm: 3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.

OMG, YES! Soooo true! Thats really messed up!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Majeedah Shabazz on November 19, 2009 at 12:45am: I liked the one about the bank answering machine, cheeseburger and of course pizza; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by ☮♥Amal♥☮ on November 19, 2009 at 9:53pm: 10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Good one!; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Abu Sufyan on November 22, 2009 at 11:20am: 12. Only in America.... do males ignore a brain dead woman's request for marriage, but when she (Palin) speaks of running the country and the free world, many take her seriously.

13. Only in America.... do 12 big strong amazing Black atheletes in NBA get coached and instructed how to play by short white dudes who never played professionally.

14. Only in America.... do men have affairs and fornicate and adulturate multiple women and be glorified while IF they think about marrying and treating two or more women well and be fully commited to them, they are demonized as deviant.; ▶ Reply to This

Permalink Reply by Finesse Hodges on November 24, 2009 at 1:09pm: I saw this on the net the other day and couldn't stop rolling!! It's funny, but sadly true. lol.; ▶ Reply to This