Black men getting with Non Black women? Everyone cool with that?

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Permalink Reply by Murtaza on February 5, 2009 at 10:11pm

I support unity especially unity of the muslim ummah. So, I love to see more mixing. I donno why this bothers people. Islam is a simple religion in the end. Like, I wanna mix too. I love the idea, I like and accept all cultures as as long is the stuff I accept is with the the Islamic limits. I like to say Im universally washed. I know a african american sister who's into other kinds of men. So, I supported her for that. She wanted someone into the deen and knowledgeable about Islam.

Permalink Reply by Murtaza on February 6, 2009 at 5:34pm

Ok. I see what you mean in that sense. I was talking about it in another sense. But, no I don't fully know what african americans have been through, but my life has been very tough too, so I can relate in some ways. But, I am into african american history and etc. Hoping to take some courses in university or read Shaikh Abdullah Hakim Quick's books for some insightful info.

Permalink Reply by Sarah on February 11, 2009 at 9:05am

I dont see colour i see a human being, that just has a way better tan than me :) I was brought up that way. If you find love outside your race great, but make sure its for love not for other reasons. I mean my fiance is berber (moroccan) and hes also muslim, i am very white :P I am canadian/scottish and i dont tan at all. Again, its not about the colour of a persons skin its how you feel about each other and that you are honouring,cherishing,and loving each other.

Permalink Reply by Dante on February 12, 2009 at 9:10am

I think your all thinking about it WAAY to hard. I think your being close minded. I dont see wht the issue is with a brother who isnt interested in a Black Woman if hes not interested hes simply not interested . Im one of the brothers I have no problem with black women but I refuse to be called an "uncle tom" or "whiteman in a black mans body" Because i dont prefer to listen to the average music most Black men do and because I dont consider myself an African American. Yes im Black no my family doesnt come from Africa and No i dont prefer Rap or R&B yes i collaberatewith whites and latino and other races besides Black and itshard to find black women who dont blame every situation that causes them trouble on theirskin color i.e the "Its because im Black" plead I hate it and get sick of hearing it.



Anyway as i said I'm mainly interested in Asian and or Arab Sisters. because of the diversity and different Types IM just more attracted to them its not really a big deal alot of black women are only into arab or white or latino men..


Im mixed im Panamaian, Jamaican and trinidadian, My skin is black but my ethnicity isnt African and even if it were Why should i be confined to Only Women of black skin color and african descent because I APPEAR to be that I f I like Arabs and Asians I do... I dont see the issue honestly....

Permalink Reply by Dante on February 12, 2009 at 9:40am

What do you mean sister>? theres nothing to understand Thats just like a handful of Arabs who beleive their bloodis pure because the Arab history is that of Kigs and Queens. its bullcrap You have to live today slavery and civil Rights are things of the past they arent happening now. Well we all have them now and I mean Im not saying the struggle wasnt well worth it back then but if you asa person didint go through the struggle for them all you have to do is appreciate them not act as if it happened to you yesterday.

I understand alot of fights and trials happened for blacks to be seen as equal but we still arent seen as Equal. So what does Murtaza need to understand about what "blacks" have been through.


How does slavery affect you as a person Or any other person who is of African descent um..better off how does it effect your decision on a marriage partner will you somehow interbond and envision a black man running throug hthe woods from a white master i mean. its 2009 not 1811..... Its not like your born with the chain marks your ancestors wore lol if your ancestors were slaves.. I havent been through anything maybe somehow when The Africans mixed on the Islands of Jamaica and Trinidad something happened and that how my ancestors got there but My immediate family traces back to And still comes from Trinidad Jamaica and Panama

except for the fact that people seem to think that since im black I sag my pants and walk with a bop... Other wise than that stero type and the "oh hes muslim" look theres nothing more to be worried about.

The Imam here in Iraq is Black and we have one non black person who is a pakistani officer who speaks 8! languages.... the guy is truly talented the Imam wont speak on the positive of the guy being muslim and having accomplishing this.


But when he misses jummuah and we have Talim he sits there and blabs on and on about how the Real isa must have been dark because hwen he ran and blended wit hthe people he was in an area that was predominatley black and how al of these guys may have no been black but were darker than the bible mmakes them out to be or pictures in church make them out to be. And how the Arabs and Asians are truly jealous of how blacks are high acheivers.


My point is WHO CAREs about the skin color the pont is ISA and Moses and YOusef and al of them were good men its the message that counts not the skin color....

he then goes on to tell me about how my focus is jacked up because I should be focusing on how i can startup my own halal meat business or halal clothing shop and not give into what the Arabs andAsians have built up because they stick to their own when it comes to Money and we should do the Same and I just truly want to smack the taste out of his mouth but hes a Major and I'm a PFC so I just argue with him and eventually say Allahualhim and Leave it. I'm thinking to myself hmm.. theres Muslims being slaughtered in Palestine and in places all over africa and Asia yet this man is talking about giving to a community that cant and probably never will pull itself toghther Its devastated and From what i see not making any improvments. The music produced by Most "Black Americans" is Hoe this Slut that Money this money that and how they struggled in the hood and slang dope which isnt realy a postiive message , They prefer that path instead of a more postive clean path like talib kweli and Lupe fiasco or MOS DEf Most of the Artist wear no shirt have dreads and cant speak english at all and when they do it sounds like reading an english text book backward i.e lil wayne .and T.I


But If you listen to something other than that your a "whiteboy" lol never knew Music had a color Jusr an artist.

Just like the Asian and Arabs have a huge issue with Blacks and white or any non asian and Arab from their specific country or Tribe marrying someone intheir family. Blacks have the same issue its really disturbing.


Why Should i give o the "black" community when they consider me an outcast to begin with its like me donating to the Mujahideen or somethign when they Taliban and Alqaeda Called the president of the U.S a house negro its clearly an Asian/Arab thing only so stuff them and their Cause.


Just like my beloved"black" community if your black but your not african American some hater wants to tell you about how your a poser or unproud of your heritage?> If one half of my family comes from central america nad the other from the west indies how does that have ANYTHING to do with civil rights in the u.s>? at all>? lol its commical to me.

Permalink Reply by Dante on February 12, 2009 at 2:17pm

Yea i do accept my differences which is why i don't blend myself into JUST black and it doesnt matter what others see me as my self image and what i do to better myself and those around me. Is what counts whether they be black or not. and Im not on a high horse by any means I just dont see what the point is of all the "what blacks have been through" if we arent going through it today I shouldnt have to go around and throw money into the black community...

Its been there longer to than me im not the solution but im definatley not the problem and Im not dissing Rap Music im dissing the Image most Rap gives off now a days and how people promote it instead of slanderit notice How I listed those artist noting out positive or somewhat mediocre messages or Even promoting the black race as a whole as a pose to people who are black slandering it... and Spitting on it by coating it with drugs and giving it the top hat of filth and gutter ..

Permalink Reply by EshaAmeena on February 17, 2009 at 5:17am

Iam Native Indian, Swedish, Arab, Lithuanian...Iam from nowhere, and yet Iam from everywhere-I am Muslim first...I dont believe in "races" I think race" is a term coined to perpetuate racism...I not care about that-I love all - I believe in al Qur'an that in our deen there is to be no "racism" plus-i was raised that way--to embrace all the beautiful cultures in this world -n learn from cultures as they are gifts-- marry whom you please..however-given our american history-it is hard to let go....my ancestors had their land stolen, were mudered, raped n stripped of everything...yet if i met man to marry n he was of that ethnicity i would have to look at him for who he is in Allah...not what his ppl did--but who he is..

Permalink Reply by imani bilal on February 20, 2009 at 9:21pm

I don't have a problem with Black men dating outside their race. I do however, have a problem with black men who date outside their race because they consciously or subconsciously believe black women are not good enough, or believe non black women are superior to black women, or have some deep rooted self hate issues. Basically, it's all in the mentality. I'm sorry but some of us, many of us, Muslims included...unfortunately DO have self hate issues, identity complexes, and inferiority complexes and think marrying someone who is anything but our own reflection will somehow make us "better" than "those others Blacks". I mean let's not pretend like the issue does not exist. I can see Non Black people not being able to completely understand what I am talking about but if you are a Black man or woman in America you DEFINITELY know what I am referring to. Pretending there is no problem only furthers the problem. I was shocked to read statements from Dante saying "o come on..slavery happened a long time ago." Black men were hanging from trees in the 60s.The Civil Rights Era ended less than 40 years ago brother. The oppression, humiliation, and complete strip of the identity of Black people in America does not and did not end with the abolition of slavery lol The time that it took to damage a people is usually the time it takes to reverse the damage. It would be very ignorant to think that those things (good and bad) that were taught to our great great great grandmothers were not passed down from generation to generation, have not ended up here with us, right here and now. It would be very ignorant to think that we have not been affected by the fact that if you ask us exactly where we come from...most of us will not be able to tell you. You being from Jamaica...panama...and wherever else has nothing to do with the fact that THEIR roots are AFRICA and therefore, yours are too. The people of Jamaica, Trinidad, Barabdos, St Martin, and many other places in the Carribbean have endured colonization by European countries....France, Spain, and England and was populated with AFRICAN slaves. Their culture was stripped from them as well and/or mixed with European culture which is why you visit a lot of these places and you have people with African orgin/Black people speaking European languages....French...Spanish (yes, Spanish)...etc etc...Languages that are not their own, the language of their slave master. The European standard of beauty has always been THE standard of beauty, starting with slavery, continuing with the invasions and colonization and invasion of Africa, parts of Asia, the Caribbeans, and CONTINUES today. We have ALL been affected by this. This is not a matter of defending what it means to be "black" or ridding ourselves of stereotypes. Because there is no definition. We are human beings, and Muslims first, with unique personalities and different backgrounds. I think the bottom line is that there is an issue with African American Muslim men taking on wives of different races for very wrong, deep rooted reasons that DO trace back to our history as a people, which begins and includes but is not limited to slavery. I could break it down a LOT more....but i'll wait for replies insha'Allah.

Permalink Reply by imani bilal on February 20, 2009 at 9:29pm

Also, I don't take well to comments like "who cares what color you are". Of course, that should be the way it is. But it is not our reality. I know Muslim Black women who have married light skinned Arab men so their babies can have "good hair", and Muslim Black men who have married white woman/ligh skinned women so their children wont come out "too dark". I know darker skinned Pakistanis who are ridiculed by their families and encouraged to marry lighter Pakistanis so they can have better chances of having light skinned children. Lets not forget the untouchables in India. Google it. This is a global issue and it has touched many a people. Again, slavery, colonization, and the European standard of beauty we have been smothered with has affected us all. Acknowledging the problem is the first step to finding a solution so we can live the way our dear Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) encouraged us to live. Fair and free of all of this. So the answer to "who cares what color a person is"....is A WHOLE LOT of us! And we must know this so we can fix it.

Permalink Reply by Murtaza on February 21, 2009 at 12:11pm

ASA yall,

That's the beauty of Islam. It all starts with your intentions. If your intentions aren't really good/pure then it speaks for itself. But, I love people of African descent (Somalian, African American, African, Caribbean and etc.) and the woman I like is of African descent, mostly Somalian in her blood. So, I thank Allah for showing her to me.. But, don't discourage those whose intentions are pure or good.

Permalink Reply by imani bilal on February 21, 2009 at 12:32pm

Very true Murtaza. That was my point when I mentioned the reasoning behind it. You know how in your "family" there may be facts about them you know that others may not know because they are not in it or of it? Thats how it is with certain aspects of the "Black"/African American "family". There is a distinct history and story and specific conditionings that have been placed upon us that we are still fighting to remove, and that affect our behaviour in some serious and major ways.I do agree with you, that we should not discourage those who wish to marry whomever they want, if it is due to personal preference and/or love. Personally, I have been proposed to by men of various races and ethnic backgrounds and my reasons for declining were not at all based upon race. As we know racism is forbidden in Islam, and to tell someone they "should not" marry someone only because they are of a different race or ethnic background is not right. May Allah (swt) purify all of our intentions, and help us heal any sicknesses of the heart we may have so that we may move forward collectively and progressively. ....and Murtaza, I pray Allah matches you with whomever fits :) There are plenty of women of African descent right here on this site. LOL insha'Allah....

Permalink Reply by Bee *BeeTrue* Watts on February 23, 2009 at 2:59am

Salaams all!

Very interesting topic and conversation. In one sitting I have read all posts and don't know which to respond to, so I have decided that I would reply to Halim since he is the originator of this discussion. Even with saying that i don't know where to begin.....

I have no problem with people that come from different backgrounds mixing and starting familes in certain cases. But, the way this discussion was started is a prime example of why I may take offense to a black man SEEKING a non-black woman.

Halim says: "If so, what is it about our community that single motherhood has risen to astronomical levels (as high as 80% according to some statistics) while other races seem to find a way to get married and keep a man (if they want to) even if its our own men."

I take exception to this statement for one reason...it appears to me that you believe that black women can not keep a man (if they want to). I do believe that in Islam there is no color, and racism, nationalism, prejudice etc. is not tolerated and should not exist. But, I also believe that we must be honest and up front and accept the fact that each and every one of us that have different backgrounds, are different. No matter if it is because of race, nationality, class, education and so on. So when you mix there will be a clash of some sort. Yes love can break down walls and fly through barriers, but only if you know that they exist, and that is what i think is very important for us to pay attention to.

I see the uniqueness in men that have come from different places all over the world and are of varying descents, and can tell that there are similarities when it comes to races or nationalities. Racism DOES exist right here and right now, and slavery is engrained in us. It is something that every black person will be affected by until the end of time.

But stereotypes come from reality, and I have a personal problem with the "truth" in the stereotypes about our "black" men. I think that if ALL Muslims would PRACTICE the purity of Islam in it's entirety this wouldn't be a discussion for us to begin with. We are only human and we all become indoctrinated by the things around us while growing up, and that is why we as an Ummah have to submit to the Will of Allah and He Will do the rest.

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